Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Never Again?

I can't seem to wrap my brain around Logan being the last child. For most of the day, I'm fine with it. It makes sense financially, it is a lot of work, we don't have any more room in the house, etc... I get it, I don't like it! Logan turned one and I realized that this last year was it, no more tiny infant, no more breast feeding, no more baby, he is moving into toddlerhood and that is all I have left. Sometimes all I can think about is having another child and being pregnant agian. I know it is not the right time and I know that I need to concentrate on the family I have, but everday in the back of my head I am aware of how much time is passing and I am not having any more babies. I will never be pregnant again. I really feel a sense of loss of how I define myself. I am not ready to move pass this stage. I am sad.